And I Give My All
"And I give my all
(Take me as I am)
I am yours, Oh, God
(Lead me to Your arms)
And I’ll give You praise
(For I rejoice in You)
Till the end of my days
I give my all
To You……"
We sing this song during praise and worship in our Singles For Christ community. But recently, I’ve been having difficulty mouthing the words.
Singing is praying twice. As such, the song is a prayer to God, and praying is communicating with God. In other words, I am communicating to God that "I give my all" to Him.
I balk.
I reflect on the words and remember what Mother Teresa had said before she returned to her Creator, "I give my all to Christ for Christ has given His all to me…"
With that thought, I can’t sing the song without having my chest cave in, my breath grow short, my throat burn and my tears spill out.
He has given His all to me. I belong to Him. The question is, can I truly give my all to Him? Can I decide to sincerely live the song and not just sing it?
What does the song truly mean in the uniqueness of my individuality as a human being? What exactly does giving my all looks like in my own life–in my home, family, work, in my friendships, community/ministry, in my inner life?
I reflect.
I pray–asking, seeking and knocking.
He leads me back to my heart where He sits in His throne.
To give my all, my heart has to be free from fears– fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of not being wanted by another human being, etc; and wants–attachments to possessions, thrills, the next big experience, perfectionism, overwhelming emotions, the attention of another person/s. Giving my all to God means dying to my self everyday–dying to my pride, ego, selfish and self-seeking desires, addictions, emotional attachments, emotional thrills, dying to the negative voices inside my head, dying to my wants that don’t bring life.
As I strive to die to myself, lose my life in His, and letting Him be the true source and goal of my life then I can become fully alive in His glory, for His glory. To give my all to Him means that I have to be detached from the world, even from my community, so that I am free to listen and respond to the voice of my Lover, the Lord. For only through Him, in Him, and with Him can I have everlasting life, a life filled with true joy, lasting peace and enduring love.
Only then–when I am living for His glory–can I have meaningful relationships. Only then can I be truly present in the moment, living in the moment and not be overwelmed by fantasies, nor be filled with worries about the past or anxieties about the future. Only then can I establish a rhythm in my life– a calm, peaceful, serene way of living in the face of calamities, or mental and emotional disturbances.
When I am doing every single little thing in my daily life–waking up, brushing my teeth, eating my food, talking to people, walking down the street, driving, thinking, dreaming, writing, singing, serving, crying, laughing, etc–and making the Lord part of it by inviting Him in and His will, then I’m living for His glory.
Giving my all to Him, and living for His glory is a process; it’s also a process of getting to know oneself in order to know what one’s ‘all’ is. It doesn’t happen overnight. Everything worthwhile takes time. And so I submit myself to the journey step by step, take one day at a time and remember to pray the Serenity Prayer (God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference).
After all, it’s all about spiritual progression, not perfection.
By myself, I cannot do it; I get so easily distracted. But He promises to grant His grace that enables us to do His will. Nothing is impossible to God. The Holy Spirit, the Advocate, will give His strength to those who sincerely seek to do His will. He is the constant, faithful Help for those who wish to give their all to Him, so that they can truly say ‘yes, Lord, I give my all to You.’
And so I sing:
"Till the end of my days
I give my all
To You….."
